I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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