how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize