people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
