By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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