Plan B is the new Plan A
True but thats because hes a fetus.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize