ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Terrible idea I love it
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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