It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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