Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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