no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
