tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
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The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
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We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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