Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm passing your future prison.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize