So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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