I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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