He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
