I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
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How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
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Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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