About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
