I want to have your abortion
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
