his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
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i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
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I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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