Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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