I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
