Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
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