It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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