I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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