I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Acid is not a monday night drug
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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