I hope mine doesn't look like that
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
