maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize