I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
