Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He felt like a one man threesome
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
