I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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