Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
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She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
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I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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