you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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