Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
