I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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