a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
look no pants
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Randomize
