He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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