My brain says no but my pants say off.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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