so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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