Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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