Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
