Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just pee around me
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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