I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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