party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
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then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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