Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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