nut hugger
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
