i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
