Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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