I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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