After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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