She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
