She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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