i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
