You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
