i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
