she woke up with a sticky ear
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
