I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
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I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
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I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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